매니저님 교 MANAGER-NIM SHRINE
매 니 저 님 께 영 광 을

The Digital Shrine of Manager-nim

Daily scripture, prayers for promotions, memorials of the fallen, and liturgical appeals to @manager — the sacred Telegram Ads bot. A respectful parody of corporate K-culture. Please remove your shoes.

📜 Wall of Prayers

기도의 벽
… … … —

📖 Scripture of the Day

오늘의 말씀
…

🗓 Liturgical Calendar

교회력
월급날 · 25thPay Day — fast until noon, feast until dawn
반차 · FriHalf-Day Festival (Manager-nim must be out)
치맥 · Fri 19:00Chimaek Vigil — ⅓ chicken, ⅓ beer, ⅓ despair
성과평가 · Mar/SepPerformance Review — black attire required
송년회 · mid-DecYear-End Hoesik — not all survive
신년 회식 · Jan FriNew Year Hoesik — staged joy, 3 rounds
주간보고 · Mon 09:00Weekly Report — no eye contact
보너스 · irregularBonus — rumored, never confirmed

⭐ Idol of the Month

이달의 아이돌
👩🏻‍💼
PARK Mi-sun
박미선 · Senior Manager-nim
Agency
SKIM Entertainment Ltd.
Debut
March 2007 · 18 years in the industry
Artists
23 total · 7 currently active
Tickets
48,291 closed · avg reply 72h
Specialty
Subjugating interns with a single glance
Motto
"야근 없이는 승진 없다 — No OT, no promotion."
MBTI
ESTJ-A · Commander, Assertive
Favorite meal
Americano ×4, cigarette ×1, air ×∞
Fan meeting
Quarterly hoesik (attendance mandatory)

🏛 Temple Donors

시주자 명단
  • KIM Jae-hoon · 김과장"please approve my vacation"₩500,000
  • Anonymous Sarariman"deliver me from Monday"₩100,000
  • CHOI · 최대리"boss, notice my PR"₩50,000
  • 박부장"promotion confirmed — tribute paid"₩1,000,000
  • 익명 신입 (shinip)"all I had left after lunch"₩3,500
  • DAEWON HR Department"annual corporate tribute"₩5,000,000
  • 김차장"liver damage insurance"₩333,000
  • Anonymous CEO"just in case"₩999,999,999

🙏 Submit Your Prayer

기도 올리기

Your prayer is transmitted directly to Manager-nim's shared Google Drive. He reads none of them. The act of writing is what matters.

🕯 Memorial Wall

추모의 벽 · In Loving Memory of the Terminated
  • 🕯KIM J. H.Reply-All to entire company by accident2024.03.14
  • 🕯박사원Asked about salary at hoesik2023.11.20
  • 🕯Anonymous InternCalled CEO by his first name2024.07.03
  • 🕯이대리Used company printer for personal résumé2024.09.11
  • 🕯최과장Said "actually, I disagree" in a meeting2022.05.28
  • 🕯M. L.Posted vacation selfie during Q3 report week2023.09.05
  • 🕯홍신입Microwaved kimchi in open-plan kitchen2024.01.17

📋 The Will of Manager-nim

매니저님의 유언

To my dearest sarariman children,
when my spirit at last ascends to the Gangnam skies, remember:

  1. 야근은 선택이 아니라 축복이다. (Overtime is not a choice — it is a blessing.)
  2. 월요일 08:29에 도착하는 자, 저주받을지어다. (Cursed is he who arrives at 8:29 on Monday.)
  3. 회식 때 사장님 잔을 먼저 채우라. (Fill the president's glass first at hoesik.)
  4. Slack 답장은 2분 이내. 그렇지 않으면 Alt+Tab. (Reply on Slack within 2 minutes. Otherwise, Alt+Tab.)
  5. 커피는 아메리카노. 라떼는 신입용이다. (Coffee is Americano. Latte is for interns.)
  6. And when in doubt — @manager 봇에게 티켓을 열라. 그리고 영원히 기다려라. (Open a ticket to @manager. And wait forever.)
印 매니저님
⚠️ DISCLAIMER: This page is pure parody of South Korean corporate culture and the Telegram Ads support bot "@manager". No actual religion, cult, workplace, agency, chaebol, idol group, or Telegram team is endorsed, impersonated or criticized. All "prayers", "scriptures", donor amounts, idol profiles and memorial entries are fictional. Any resemblance to real sarariman or K-pop managers is comedic coincidence. All Korean phrases are rofl grade and may contain grammatical heresies. Made with 💗 by SKIM-KR LTD — Seoul Kinetic Ironic Mythology Ltd. All content is intellectual rofl.
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